4.5 5PlotKelsey and her tigers continue their search on how to break the curse They are sent to get information on one of Durga s prized possessions Lokesh is now determined to find and get Kelsey for his personal reasons that had existed when Ren and Kishan were younger and their parents still alive In the meantime, Ren and Kishan are bent on showing Kelsey their love for her and that she should make the choice of who to be with.The Love TriangleI wasn t particularly pleased to see the love triangle forming but it was okay It caused a little too much drama for my taste I thought that Houck should have focused on the problem at hand but a little romance was okay.Picture the girl watching as a guyCharactersThe characters were overall good.KelseyKelsey is a smart and resourceful young lady in this series In this book, though, she seems to be dependent on the guy I wish to have seen her be independent and possibly have less drama She was in love and loving two guys but she should just make the decision of what to do.RenRen had amnesia and it affected his love life with Kelsey The entire time I was wishing for him to just remember her since I know that they are meant to be together He is handsome, romantic, funny, and protective He cares a lot for Kelsey and wants to protect her.KishanKishan is and has been in love with Kelsey He is jealous of Ren and that he still has her affections He is funny, relaxed, and wants Kelsey to be happy with either decision that she makes.The EndingThere is a definite cliff hanger and I can t wait to get the fourth book when it comes out of hard back You should read it. 2.5 This review contains unmarked spoilers, and will be redone soon.It hurts my heart to write this review, but it must be done TIGER S VOYAGE ruined my complete view of the series, and you re about to learn why.I used to be obsessed with this series It was my first paranormal romance young adult, and I credit this book for introducing me to the genre Gradually, as I read books, I learned the series wasn t as good as I originally though, but I still liked it.However, in this book, Kelsey is if possible annoying, stupid, and boring than ever She s a damsel in distress, in the most pathetic way possible She almost dies because she hits her head on a rock All because a harmless eel swims past her and she freaks the freak out There was no use for the scene except to make the boys fight over her.WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, KESLEY I can go on and on about this shallow girl What do Kishan and Ren see in her in this book She s always talking or laughing to herself when she s not even faintly amusing, mind you or thinking PARAGRAPHS long, detailed, dull paragraphs that clarified that somewhere in her tiny brain, a screw is loose Seriously And all she does is moan and groan and bitch about who she s gonna chose Ren or Kishan, her moon and her shadow, her bad boy and her good boy, her first love and her replacementI liked Kishan better then Ren, but he lost the his badboy appeal and his hilarious perverted comments, just to change for Kelsey Ever heard of the original LITTLE MERMAID, Kishan Changing herself for the prince she was biggest mistake the mermaid ever made.I still love Kishan, though In this book, Ren is selfish, possessive, cruel, and annoying This connection he has with Kelsey annoys me to no end TIGER S VOYAGE contains about one hundred pages on details Useless descriptions of yachts, plants, bathrooms, Ren what not Lord, if you think we needed the serious background info, just give us a link I thought I was reading a young adult PNR, not my dad s marine mechanic log I know Kadam likes all things modern, but give me a break I was falling asleep.The writing is so detailed and flowery I d choke on it if it was a perfume.The plot was fine, though I preferred TIGER S QUEST The romance was terrible I mean, we all know Kelsey is going to end up with Ren It s so obvious You can spare us the idiotic love triangle and get on with her quest, cause we all know her love for Kishan won t be enough.Please stop You re going to hurt Kishan. #Free Book Ø Tiger's Voyage å With The Head To Head Battle Against The Villainous Lokesh Behind Her, Kelsey Confronts A New Heartbreak In The Wake Of His Traumatic Experience, Her Beloved Ren No Longer Remembers Who She Is As The Trio Continues Their Quest By Challenging Five Cunning And Duplicitous Dragons, Ren And Kishan Once Vie For Her Affections Leaving Kelsey Confused Than Ever First opinion after finish reading Zero star for bastardizing Hindu and Chinese myths, taking mythical figures out of context, giving them entirely unrealistic backstories and twisting them into some unrecognizable creatures Negative star for giving untrue and unreliable information about foreign myth and culture to the audience.The silly, unbearable love triangle and the childish, airhead heroine also got a big thumb down from me I m equally not amused by the fact that almost every single man in the story seems to be in love lust with our Mary Sue heroine detailed rant starts from here After finished reading Tiger s Voyage, I know I have a bone to pick with its creator Colleen Houck After suffering three books, now I think the only way for this series to work out well is for the whole setting to be pushed back into the ancient India, just so that the whole idea about princes got turned into animals by evil doers, girls being chosen to break the curse and goddesses came down to chat with mortals can be passably viewed as normal But you can hardly do all these things in the modern American society and the modern Indian society and expects us to swallow the whole thing down without any skepticism Not when the whole idea isn t even finely excised But of course Houck wouldn t have it that way For one thing, if the story takes place in ancient India, then the heroine has to be an Indian or at least, an Asian girl as well, for how likely could you find a Westerner girl in the ancient India anyway And I also think I know why Houck wouldn t have it a she isn t able to write an Asian girl as a heroine Because an empty headed, immature American teenage girl is much, much easier to write b Putting the story back to ancient India would request a lot and a lot of research on historical details, which I m sure wouldn t sit well with Houck Just for the record After reading three books, I had a burning question awaited some answer Question Has Colleen Houck ever set one foot upon India before, during, after she wrote the Tiger series I strongly suspect that the answer to this question is No Or maybe she did visit India at some point, but her ability of observation is so BAD that a lot of things about India the country, the people, the society and even the weather, simply escape her notice Why would I say that Let me give you an example here In book 1, Kelsey visited India for the first time, and she never mentioned seeing any poor people, or one single beggar on the street.I m sorry No poor people and no beggar in sight It s not realistic for the poors to be nowhere in sight in India As sad as it sounds, beggars are part of the scenery in every single Indian city, town and spot of tourist attraction, and everywhere you go, sign of poverty always shows up at the corners of your eyes But no, Kelsey made it sound like every single person who lived in India was rich or at the very least, middle class Plus, I hate it very much that the good princes never lifted a finger to help the poors and misfortunes in India with their wealth My freaking goodness Not only this, Kelsey barely made comment on how hot the weather is in India, and not once did she seem to notice the social barriers between men and women I admit all of these are just small details, but after seeing Houck failed to handle all of these small details well, her books become very unrealistic in my eyes After asking my question, now I will go down to the rant I need to list down everything I HATE about Tiger s Voyage.Here we go.1.The unbearable heroine and her stupid, unrealistic love interestsThroughout the three books, Kelsey acted like an airhead teenager, and I see no improvement or character growth in sight.And yes, Kelsey is a big fat Mary Sue too Aside from the two handsome princes who were totally in love with her, every single man in the series even the ARCH VILLAIN, is also in love lust with her And in book 3, even the male dragons seem to like her, for no good reason.Plus, Houck, along with the two princes, keep telling me how brave and wonderful Kelsey is though out the book, but sadly all I can see is Kelsey having to be rescued constantly, and almost every risky task is performed by the two tiger brothers, instead of our GREAT BRAVE KELSEY.Talking about the two tiger brothers Ren continues to be a cardboard cutout Prince Charming, who rants about Kelsey cutting off her hair Oh yes, he doesn t like her short hair But It s her hair and she can do whatever she feels like, for goodness sake Kishan is slightly better than Ren, but for the life in me, after so many books I still can t see why he is in love with Kelsey Full Stop.2 The horrible love triangleIn book 3, Ren somehow lost his memory to Kelsey and and he subconsciously wanted to stay away from her.My reaction is REN IF YOUR SUBCONSCIOUSNESS IS TRYING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING, LISTEN TO IT IT IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD After Ren s losing his memory, a huge part of the book is taken up by Kelsey moving back and froth between Kishan and Ren, and Ren being jealous of Kishan or some random guy who was interested in Kelsey.We run repeatedly to the old problem Every single man wants Kelsey, no kidding even the bad guy wants to bed her YUCK In the middle of the mess, Ren went all Let s break up with Kelsey for her own good all Edward Cullen s style Fucking hell Give me a fucking break This I m ditching you for your own good BS is annoying as hell When I was turning the last twenty pages of the book, it was confirmed that Kelsey didn t lift a finger to do any difficult task, she never had to take any risk because the tiger brothers would do all her bidding for her.WHAT HAD THE BROTHERS EVER DONE WRONG IN THEIR MISERABLE PAST LIVES TO DESERVE THIS 3 Total bastardization of the Hindu and Chinese mythsAfter reducing Warrior Goddess Durga into a lame Disney style of a fairy godmother I mean, the Goddess never lifted a finger to punish the evil doers, for crying out loud Colleen Houck continues to butcher the Hindu myth in Tiger s Voyage But this time the Hindu myth isn t her only victim, the Chinese traditional myth also suffers, just as badly First, let me tell you about what had happened to the good ol Hindu myth At one point, a character tells a myth about Shiva, Pravati and Indra in a love triangle WHAT WHAT WHAT WHERE DID THIS MYTH COME FROM Just for the record, I had never came across with a tale about Indra, or any male deity messing about with Pravati The point is according to Hindu myth, NO ONE MESSES WITH PRAVATI OR THEY WILL SUFFER SHIVA S WRATH That s it.Just for the record, there is a myth about Rama s wife Sita being kidnapped by a Demon King, who fell in lust with Sita, but this myth is about Rama and Sita, not about Pravati, Shiva and Indra.Also, according to Houck, Shiva ordered his servant Nandi to transform into a shark for one stupid reason or the other But she never bothers to tell you Nandi is in fact Shiva s cow in the myth.Nandi, you re so ruined.Colleen Houck also has the gut to claim that Pravati is the other name of Durga I m sorry, isn t it the other way aroundThat Durga is the other name of Pravati That Durga is Pravati s warrior form And why it s never mentioned that Durga became Kali when she was enraged during a great battle with a demon And why, for three whole books, no one ever mentioned the belief about Pravati, Durga and all the other goddesses are in fact one and the same, Devi But at least I have to give a small credit to Houck for mentioning the Hindu goddesses and their ever changing appearance, personalities and moods are not very different from what mortal women are being Secondly, let s move on to see what had happened with the Chinese myth.At one point of the story, a Captain told Kelsey of a supposed Chinese myth about Jingwei The Captain claimed that Jingwei was once a woman, whose husband drowned at sea, after the death of her husband, the woman became a bird out of grief.Well, I have to tell you Houck had the details all wrong here Every single 10 years old Han Chinese kid who had read Chinese Myths For Kids can tell you the correct version of the myth Jingwei was once the daughter of Emperor Yandi, who was drowned as a young girl, after her death, her spirit transformed itself into a bird More details about the myth of Jingwei I am serious, every single 10 years old Han Chinese kids knows the story of Jingwei, and I bet everyone who had bothered enough to pick up a Beginners Guide To Chinese Mythology and read, would also know the story So tell me Houck, how could you mess this up so badly 4 All the messed up little detailsa Indians celebrate a Chinese festival Are you for realAt one point, Ren and Kishan took Kelsey to attempt a festival, which Houck called it Stars Festival , claiming it s a festival imported from China during the ancient period, and had been celebrated by the Indian general public ever since.I died a little when I saw this wild claim I know this supposed Star Festival well, in China we called it Double Seventh Festival, aka Chinese Valentine s Day The Festival celebrates the yearly union of The Weaver Girl and The Cowherd, two figures in the Chinese myths, who were only allowed to meet each other once a year at the night of the seventh day of the 7th lunar month I also know that only Chinese, Japanese and Koreans celebrate Double Seventh Festival, as to the Indians, this Festival isn t part of their traditional calendar Just to be on the safe side, I also looked up the Wiki s list of Hindu Festivals , only to confirm that there s no such thing as believers of Hinduism celebrating a festival imported from China, which is related to stars.I find it truly disgusting, for what Houck had committed here isn t some slight mistake or misunderstanding People, listen up Colleen Houck is feeding you untrue information about foreign culture and myths here She made things up, presenting her make believes as facts and feeding them to her readers She lies From this point onward I know that everything she wrote in her books are not to be trusted, not without a double check To be frank, I had never encountered an author who is so SHAMELESS and DISRESPECTFUL beforeb mention of cheongsambut something doesn t look rightPlus, during the festival Kelsey was dressed up in a blue cheongsam According to Houck s description, Kelesy was being dressed like the following photo during a festival likely it s the type of Cheongsam you would only see in seedy nightclubs and pervert s wetdreams facepalms This cheongsam business also leads me to another messed up little detailc Ren and Kishan s mothera supposed cheongsam wearing Chinese woman from 300 years ago First thing, let me tell you what cheongsam used to look like from 300 years ago, I took the picture from Wiki So, I don t think Ren and Kishan s mother would be comfortable wearing clothes like this when she lived in India.When I was reading book 1 and book 2, the thought about Ren and Kishan s mother being Chinese Korean Japanese never crossed my mind But when Houck mentioned about Ren s mother celebrating Double Seventh Festival and dressed herself in cheongsam even after being married to Ren and Kishan s father, I was finally forced to realize Colleen Houck has intended Ren s mother to be a Chinese born woman That s where the problem began.Before that, I never thought that Ren s mother was supposed to be Chinese, because her name sounded barely anything like a Chinese name, allso because Colleen Houck had mentioned that Ren had blue eyes, and Kishan s eyes are golden.What How come a Chinese mother and an Indian father can produce a son with BLUE EYES I guess the chance of it is very, very slim.5 The dragonsHouck s dragons arein one word, laughable They re comical laughing stocks I suggest you to see for yourself, I don t even want to bother with them here And of course, powerful beings such as dragons can only be male , since women aren t supposed to be powerful, even supposedly powerful women like Durga, actually did nothing aside from sitting there smiling and be beautiful Actually I have things to say, but this rant is getting ways too long, I will stop it here Thank you for reading, folks. Seriously SERIOUSLY I have to wait ALL the way till November 1st to read this The suspense is just Wow I can t even ugh Never mind Excuse me while I go into a corner cry myself into oblivion I kid XD I can t wait to read this I can t wait to read this I can t wait to read this I can t wait to read this I can t wait to read this I can t wait to read this Need I say Tiger s Voyage captured my heart, ensnared my soul, and left me breathless and so so in love I love this book, this series, with a passionate, heart soaring, brilliant love that consumes me, and I become so invested in the story and Kelsey and Ren and Kishan s lives that their pain is my pain, their love my love, and I dread the end, because it means I must finish this part of their story, and wait, and wait, for the next part And Colleen Houck doesn t give you a happy, perfect ending to stay your anxiety, no, she, the evil witch she is, slams the worst of cliffhangers into your face, and you turn the last page to find it blank, and you re so desperate to find out what happens, but that s it That s the ending, and you must wait, for eternity, to find what happens next For this reason, I hate her And yet I love her because she writes such a fantastic story with possibly my favorite romance that I have read And that is because of Ren The drop dead gorgeous, tall dark and handsome, Indian Prince of ultimate perfection Not that he doesn t have his faults, because he does, but there is no man who has me swooning , than he I loved how dragons were incorporated into the story That Kelsey and her two tigers had to find five dragons that would eventually lead them to Durga s Necklace, which would bestow upon Ren and Kishan time that they can be humans Each of the dragons were unique and interesting I thought the development and execution of the plot was excellent There was adventure and danger and fantasy and heart stopping romance and laughter One of my favorite parts was when the trio met the dragon that wanted to play a game with them that turned out to be like an old fantasy story with knights and dragons and princesses I thought it was fantastic Now the romance Oh my, the romance Never has any romance been so sweltering hot and swooning inducing than what goes on between Ren and Kelsey Every time Ren stepped onto the page and said something, or did something, or kissed or touched Kelsey, or Houck described what he was wearing, I was swooning, and falling for him hard Which was like every other page And he s not even real Yeesh Erica, get a grip He is my dream man, next to Apollus in the Tennis Shoe Series, and all my classic men crushes If I had to choose between Ren and Apollus, I don t know who I would choose Because Apollus, strapping young Roman soldier with a strong spirit and so incredibly good looking, come on pause as I fan myself from all the hotness going on here image error Tiger s Voyage, the third book in the Tiger s Curse series, is amazing I couldn t put it down It s about 100 pages longer than Tiger s Quest and I tore through it twice as fast We follow Kelsey, Ren, and Kishan who embark on their third voyage to break the Tiger s Curse This time they travel by ocean searching for Durga s necklace But, Ren is still suffering from his amnesia while Kishan seems to be falling in love with Kelsey Their voyage requires the help of five enchanting Chinese dragons and of course are being hunted by a number of undersea creatures which include a kraken Oh yea and don t forget Lokesh who is still after them Lots of action with tons of suspense and of course the romance Tiger s Voyage will not let us fans of the series down.
Okay So, I guess I should explain why I bothered to read this third book See, my lovely cousin Abby read my review on the second book and thought it was hilarious So she got all four books from her library and started reading them And every once in a while she would start laughing like a demon SoI needed to know What could be SO COLOSSALLY BAD about this book that made her laugh and slam the book shut I hate unsatisfied curiosity And now I know Am I a better person for it Probably not Probably worse for it But am I better writer from it Well Now I know what NOT to do Time to begin EVERYTHING WRONG WITH TIGER S VOYAGE With SpoilersDuhLet s start with the biggest problem 1 THE PLOT So, they need to find these items for Durga in order to break the curse, right Right So now they need Durga s necklace Fine Whatever Want to know how they FIND said necklace Well, only a certain dragon knows where it is We ll call him BOSS dragon, because I don t feel like writing all of their names out with the little accents and whatever So, they talk to this dragon s brother Who tells them where a 2nd dragon they need to visit who will tell them where the 3rd dragon is who will tell them where the 4th dragon is who will tell them where a 5th dragon is who will tell them where the BOSS dragon is But wait It gets better So, BOSS dragon tells them where a key is They get the key, which gets them the necklace Happy days Then Kelsey gets kidnapped, the end In between these major events fill in with long montages of Ren and Kishan declaring their undying love to Kelsey Well on that later I ll let you know when we get there O.Kay Weird SoIS there a plot Guess not 2 KELSEY AND HER EGO Problem the first can it get any bigger For a supposedly average girl, she certainly has a lot of sections of the book for her to tell us how GORGEOUS she looks Cuz I guess that s really relevant to the plot AlsoKelsey s clothesDoes anyone else have to stop for a few minutes to try and unsuccessfully figure out what the heck she s wearing I eventually just gave up and kept reading Or I googled whatever italicized word she randomly had in there Alsohow can you not recognize yourself in the mirror multiple times in a row You d think after the first time of not recognizing yourself you d be a little open to surprise And what is the purpose of these random Kelsey s dressed up by magic montages Seriously, the bit where the dragon makes her hair grow and dresses her up or whatever for funthat was just NOT NECESSARY Neither was the bit where Kelsey is dressed up as Parvati Or the bit where Kelsey gets dressed up in event a, b, c, d, e, f, whatever, you get it Kelsey, as everyone knows, is just plain annoying She plays around with both Ren and Kishan s feelings because she doesn t want to hurt either of them or whatever, but I hope she realizes that the longer she strings Kishan along, the it was bound to hurt when the truth all comes out Well That s gonna come back to hurt ya later Plus, what is with Ren and Kishan being so dang determined to love this crazy girl Kelsey describes herself as pudgy, brown haired, and plain Sotwo hot Indian guys who are over 200 years old just randomly fall in love with that sort of girl And don t tell me it s her personality Justdon t Don t go there Apparently, Kelsey s 19 But she acts like she s 15, soyou know She takes EVERYTHING to heart, and get s hurt by the smallest little things both physically and emotionally I can t BELIEVE that it never occurred to her that Ren s forgetting her was done in order to protect her Seriously I think everyone reading the book and their annoying siblings reading over their shoulders saw that one coming, KELLS And another thing Kells Am I the only person really irritated by a Kelsey s name and b Kelsey s nickname and c Kelsey s millions of Indian nicknames Please tell me I m not alone Am I AM I Seriously, if I am, I need someone to just tell me already Don t leave me in this agony for so long AndKelsey s apparent genius I don t know if I m the only one who noticed thisbut I guess Kelsey s the only person who can figure out ANYTHING plot relevant in the series Even though Mr Kadam is the one going around with hundreds of years of experience and is doing all this research, Kelsey will just walk in the room and be like oh THAT s what we need to do find where we need to go Cuz she s the amazing Kelsey Fear her No, really, run away Be afraid Be VERY afraid Anyways We ll move on I think I ve covered everything else that irritates me about Kelsey in the other review I wrote her hair braiding And Ren s obsession with said braids Weird.and the ribbons Justthe ribbons I m sorry Kells, but every time you mention putting your hair into two braids with ribbons, I think of Pippi Longstocking Not a 19 year old girl trying to look mature Jus sayin Alsoher hair randomly growing back Clearly this just happened to make Ren happy Seriously It wasn t necessary except for that whole bit with Ren getting angry about her cutting her hair Also Him getting angry about her cutting her hairIsn t it HER hair, Edward I mean.REN Whoops How did I make THAT mistake 3 THE MEN AND THE OTHER WOMEN Soapparently everyone in Ms Houck s world is gorgeous Because that s how Kelsey seems to describe them all In her mind, EVERYONE is good lookin She s jealous of EVERY girl because they ALL try to push each other over in order to get to Ren and Kishan Snicker Sorry, the mental imagery is just too much for me to handle Randi is annoying, blond, stupid, anorexic , and a cliche An overly used cliche that apparently Ren thought he should use to try and make Kelsey jealous What IS it with female authors now a days who think they need to have a bitchy blond girl character to pick on their poor, plain, brunette heroine Seriously, this is just getting on my nerves now Is it possible to NOT use cliches and get a point across Please Can we Randi is an awful person, fine whatever But she was also completely unnecessary to the plot Aside Please, please, PLEASE stop using anorexic bitchy popular girls as a way to make your heroine heroic for eating normally Anorexia is a serious mental illness that affects millions of men and women worldwide and, at its worst, can cause DEATH This is NOT the message you want to send young impressionable girls, especially since, contrary to popular belief, anorexia is not caused by seeing too many thin models in magazines and TV but is actually uneven brain chemistry People with anorexia LITERALLY CANNOT HELP IT Their struggles are real and their stories are often very sad To see all that thrown away for the sake of another boring YA heroine puff herself up for being bigger than most girls is the worst skinny shaming I ve ever seen STOP IT.STOP MARGINALIZING SERIOUS MENTAL HEALTH CONCERNS Thank you And all you authors out there Enough with the Bella Mary Sue girl characters, would you We really don t need a bunch of I m a badass man lover brunettes running around in random pieces of clothing I can t even bother to pronounce let alone begin to understand what they mean not because I m opposed to learning about new cultures, but because Houck almost does these name drops to impress upon us how much googling she did Enough with the cliches, please If I can complain about them any , I will They are generally used by inexperienced authors and, sadly, they are being accepted by people if Houck s gettin rich off of stupid people who love cliches This is a bad lesson to teach an author give them a bloated head, why doncha and a bad lesson to teach teenage girls Real life isn t like that at ALL Welcome to the real world If we can get a decent heroine in modern fiction who I do not despise, that person gets a happy face sticker on their review Serious.Anyways, back to the problem with the OTHER WOMEN hereAgain, all gorgeous Again, even Nilima is a source of jealousy Seriously I PITY Nilima That poor girl is seriously just a plot device who shows up when she s important and then disappears again I actually stopped reading at one point and asked my cousin wait.is Nilima even on the yacht Apparently, she was I found that out later when she was randomly inserted back into the plot Also, apparently she was fasting because of some random reason or another that somehow justifies her being gone for previous chapters And now for the men The men The men Oh dear Is every man in the world in love with Kelsey Well, let s see so far 1 Ren Fine ONE love interest 2 Kishan His brother Why Soap opera much 3 Li Is there a reason here 4 Jason and Artie Because apparently it s now socially acceptable to date multiple guys at once.5 Texan diving instructor guy Because I guess we can only get a 21 year old diving instructor randomly in India Ya know Instead of an old veteran who would NOT become another love interest Orlove toy, really, because they re very clear that he s not a love INTEREST, he s just there to compliment her and make her boyfriends happy Like a slave Whoops, did I say that out loud 6 Lokesh Yep Lokesh I ll get back to that later Surprised, aren t you Have to flip back to the book and remember WHO Lokesh is again, don t you Because you forgot that there was supposed to be a villain in these books That s okay I did too Also, the men in generalhow many times do they have to grunt Because they seem to do that a LOT Just go back and count It is ridiculous 4 LET S DESTROY YEARS OF CULTURE AND HISTORY TIME YAY Okay, so I m not the first person to point this out, but Houck has a strange obsession with giving us RANDOM INFO DUMP THAT YOU DIDN T WANT TO KNOW sections And the best bit Well, in an attempt to tell us how much research she s done, Houck has actually shown me how LITTLE research she s done Because she s destroyed a lot of history and culture in an attempt to fit it into her book First off, a lot of these sections are just randomly put into the story No, I m serious They just have little TELL ME A STORY times that have no plot relevance whatsoever If I WANTED to read a history book, I d BUY a history book And I have before It s been done First, Houck does not accurately portray Durga or Parvati I had to study a lot of Indian myths and culture in Honors English class and if the goddess she s talking about is supposed to be the same goddess in those myths.there s something wrong here Also Gilgamesh Yeah, I know that she talks about it in the 2nd book, not the 3rd one, but I don t have room to do it on the other review The story of Gilgamesh is actually about Gilgamesh turning into a jack a into a nice dude after he accidentally kills his friend Enkidu and then fails to bring him back to life It has little to do with Gilgamesh being clever or about him sneaking into the realm of the gods or snakes shedding their skin Really Kelsey Snakes shedding their skin How did you get THAT out of the epic poem of Gilgamesh And no, I didn t label it an epic, that s actually what it s called TOO EPIC FOR YOU KELSEY You didn t embrace the show not tell law Shame on you Kill it with fire and all that The only way the word epic could be used to describe this book is if the word fail came after it EPIC FAIL5 LOVE MONTAGES I don t think Ren is really her boyfriend I think he s a guy she hired to give her compliments You think I m joking I m not It s almost as bad as watching Kristen Stewart say I LOVE you Edward as angrily and forcefully as she can Kelsey, if you have to hear a guy tell you he loves you a million times in order to believe him, then maybe.just maybeyou re making a mistake here You re 19 years old Possibly, there will be other men out there You ve already proven THAT Possibly you should wait a few years before trying to get married right away And let me just remind everyone the one big pervert similarity between this and Twilight they are hundreds of years old She s 19 Creepy much And no, it s not okay to say BUT THEY WERE TIGERS ALL THOSE YEARS Do you think I care No Justno They want to marry her that s disgusting, really Almost as bad as what s coming up next 6 THE VILLAIN BECAUSE YOU KNEW THIS WAS COMING So have you had time to go back to your book and remember Lokesh We good now You know who he is Yes, you re right He IS the hundreds of years old villain who wanted to kill Ren and Kishan s father and marry their mother You remember that part Now, you remember that he now wants to marry KELSEY, right Because THAT s so original I m getting Dust Land flashbacks It s not pretty Oh, sorry thanks for the correction, Abby he doesn t want to marry her just to marry her, he wants a son Yep Okay Great Because we certainly needed that there This reminds me of yet another series that tanked Really hard By Cassandra Clare If you don t know what I m talking about, then consider yourself lucky VERY lucky Please, don t go looking for it You ll only hurt yourself Another note to new authors Please No I MUST HAVE A SON obsessed villains, please And if you MUST have them, at least don t make them want to marry the heroine in order to GET said son You ll notice I said please twice I m getting desperate here Help Me BONUS TIME So, in an attempt to maybe COMPLIMENT the book, I think Kirkus Reviews did a pretty good job of summing up what reading the book is like shocking, heart rendin, soul tearing Ye ap.This thing tore my soul out all right And stomped on it And killed my laugh box And by the end, I was wondering why stuff like this ever gets printed BONUS TIME OVERTIME A quote from my lovely cousin to describe these books I got it Kelsey is a ball of yarn being batted around between two cats image error Meh 3.5 stars on this, folks Review later.Okay, at the end of Quest, I just about died WHYYYY, COLLEEN WHYYY And now, we are stuck waiting until NOVEMBER to find out what happens with Ren and Kelsey I mean thats counts on fingers FOUR monthssss I think I m gonna cry Someone buy me some tissues This is my favorite new series, and this wait just makes me want it sooo much So, in conclusion,Mrs Colleen Houck,Please make it come out sooner Pleasee Like tomorrow would be good Sincerely, me and everyone else who just about cried at the end of the Quest.Edit Due to my extreme obsessiveness over this series, I have found two poems that I feel will describe Ren and Kelsey for the next book, or at least their feelings Geez this wait is making me go nuts Kelsey s Poem s Poem the poems could work for both of them just as well, maybe even better, but Kelsey s was in the perspective of a girl and vise versa for Ren They could even work for Kishan Yeah, I m kind of smitten hahaha